Borneo Blog :: know thyself

Since meeting Des I have been getting back on track with my spiritual journey. I've been questioning life, who I am, why, where, how, when, etc. I started reading the book Beverley sent me about Astral Projection and I have regained my focus. 

I think it's so important to question everything, especially your entire being. Why we are programmed, easily influenced, easily distracted and easily controlled by our senses and the world around us. I'm really starting to see that self knowledge is probably the most important practice we can do as individuals in order to fully understand everything else.

I have been more aware recently, of my surroundings, thoughts, reactions and actions. I often wonder "why did I just do/say that?" Then I contemplate and I'm hoping that these things I question won't happen again, or if I go to do something I'll be stopped beforehand. I find that the more I do this the easier it becomes but I am still a creature of habit and I make mistakes easily, so practicing self forgiveness is also something I'm working on too. 

One thing I've failed to address recently is my lack of energy, or general feeling of tiredness. I started taking b12 shots but in the last 6 months I should have had 2 shots and I haven't had any. I'm not sure if my lack in energy is from the lack of b12 shot or if there's something else. Generally the b12 didn't noticeably increase my energy so that's why I stopped. When I first went raw I was running on adrenaline so that's what I am comparing my levels to. Perhaps how I feel is normal. 

The reason I mention this is because part of the book I've been reading about astral projection states that in order to project it's important to be able to concentrate, clear the mind and focus all of your energy on leaving the physical body. The problem I'm having is that when I meditate I fall asleep. I guess partly because I meditate horizontally! I have had so many experiences of energy flowing through my chakras, but I cannot say I've ever had an out of body experience and usually I pass out before I can will it to happen. 

Let me just clear this up though, I sleep from 9pm till 6am give or take and I don't sleep during the day. I think that if I were more active my body would feel more awake. The fact that I'm sedentary for the majority of the day doesn't help. The raw food lifestyle changed my life and I do not ever plan to give it up. I admit I've been very lazy recently, so now I need to get back to a routine and see if my energy levels pick up. 

Part of my problem has been poor use of my time. I hope to incorporate more exercise and meditation into my routine as well as writing! The more creative I become the more I seem to open up to myself, like I unlock another door that reveals more of who I am. 

I hope that I keep this focus and discover a lot more.