So I have a friend who has discovered the beauty of speaking her truth. This is amazing and she is transforming all the time.

My truth is that I feel like a traveller. I'm am explorer. An adventurer. I think the years of habit have made me more comfortable sat watching TV or playing on the PC. 

When I actually get on my bicycle after the initial grumpy thoughts of "I cant be arsed" I absolutely love what I see and how I feel. Until I force myself to do it, I am quite happy sitting on my arse but I don't feel enriched.

I have a business in the health and wellness industry and whilst I can do this anywhere in the world right now I feel inclined to stay in Liverpool. 

Liverpool is a special place to me as it's where I grew up. The people are diverse and even though we get bad press it's one of the friendliest places I've lived.

I think part of my problem is I often get carried away dreaming about what I don't have than appreciating what I do have. Am I just trying to run away again?

These are the times I find meditation valuable. When decisions are difficult and my mind is consumed by a thousand thoughts it's best to find peace in this present moment through meditation.

On that note I'm going to breathe and focus on being present right here right now.

Are you a traveller? Do you get distracted? How do you refocus?

I am interested in your story xx

Cycling through Europe

I've been thinking a lot about cycling across Europe and wild camping, but in order to do that I want to do a few test runs in the UK. Firstly I need to start with buying a tent! Secondly my bike definitely needs upgrading. Thirdly I need to finish working and just do it! 

I've been looking at tents online, mainly double layered one man storm proof tents, but they range from cheap to super expensive and the reviews are so varied I just don't know what to buy! I would like to set it up in the garden first and spend a few nights outside to get used to the noises, bugs and general outdoor living. I would definitely pee outside but I don't think my dad would appreciate me pooping outside! 

I also think I would have to buy new wheels that are more suited to long distance cycling as opposed to racing, which is what my bike was built for. In hindsight I should have been more informed about my choices, but it's easy to work around it. I definitely need mud guards and a new seat. Unfortunately it got slightly damaged on the train and it's also very uncomfortable. I will definitely be looking at a super soft gel padded seat because I get very numb genitals and it actually causes me quite a lot of pain for a few days afterwards, which is partly why I don't enjoy cycling. 

I also need to get new handlebar wrap, I will also invest in a thick gel padded wrap because since falling off my stationery bike I suffer from pins and needles, sore hands and pains in my left arm/wrist when I go long distance. I will purchase some better gloves too. I'd love to be able to get a custom design for the wrap, I like the idea of it being white with silver stars, maybe even miniature rainbows! Make it as happy looking as possible! 

I definitely need to invest in decent lights, pannier bags, sports bottles, a new bell and probably buy a heavy duty lock, extra brake pads, tubes and co2 canisters. 

I would like to cycle along the coast of Croatia, Italy, France and Spain before going to the Canary Islands. I just need to build up my confidence with camping solo in the wild! 

I have joined a bike forum but no one has shown an interest in my request for a wild camping buddy in the UK. I did go to a sports shop and inquire about tents and the worker suggested I just try out camping in proper sites first. I think that's a great idea so I may start taking myself off during the weekends and try it because the other thing I'm concerned about is food. What the heck will I eat to sustain myself cycling and camping? 

At the moment I'm on a crazy transition that's seen me go from fruit to fat, lots of salad, nuts and seeds, but then binging on bread to steaming vegetables and then back to fruit. I'm so confused but that's another post! It is definitely best to get my experience up with camping in the UK because at least I know I can just pop into a supermarket and grab some salad and fruit. 

I'm excited but also daunted. I used to say I hate camping and I do get rather OTT about insects and bugs, so this will be interesting. 

Have you ever been wild camping? Any tips will be greatly appreciated. 

Love Jennifer xx

Thailand Blog :: Last day

I wanted to post something yesterday but now I've slept I have forgotten what it was, so I am going to go with something I'm thinking now. 

Today is my final day in Thailand. I've tried to adjust my body clock already by sleeping late and getting up late, but this has only caused more tiredness so far and my digestion/bodily functions don't feel optimal. Let's hope it's worked though because tonight I won't be sleeping till 3-4am! 

Yesterday I had a good day souvenir shopping. I don't usually buy much because at the end of the day it's usually just tack in someone else's house, but I wanted to get something seeing as I've been away for 6 months and I like shopping. I'm happy with my purchases. Perhaps I'll show you what I got when my family have received their items! 

I also visited Rasayana too. This morning I've woken up with that familiar weird breath, sight headache and stimulant hangover. I think I'd much prefer to just binge on mangoes. However, I think I'm still going to order food to take on the plane! I definitely want spring rolls and a banoffee pie. 

Spring rolls

Veggie sandwich 

Raw cacao moose tart

My plan was to buy a blender to take home, but I decided against it when I went to the shop and picked it up in the box. I'm pretty sure it was around 5kg with packaging and I am not confident that I'd be able to carry everything through Manchester airport (they have these stupid single file exit tunnels and everytime I'm there with my bike I have to push or pull it like a train and it's carriages). I also think it would take me over the 30kg limit, especially with my bike too. The last time I flew the bike box weighed roughly 25kg.

What I want to do today is to get some fruit that's still unripe to take home with me, mainly mangoes and maybe some namwa bananas. I'll definitely miss these flavours. 

I don't have any other wishes, so I may hang out in the park and catch some sun. 

It actually feels like a long time since I've been home. Sometimes I say things like "I cannot believe how quickly it's gone", but actually these 6 months have been really long! For example, it feel like such a long time ago that I was in Bali! It's almost as if it was a dream not a reality! I hope that from now on I'm present in every moment experiencing life to the full. 

I hope that you too live life in the present and are fully aware of what you have right now, because that's all that matters. 

Summer migration

I have been thinking about home since the start of my latest fast. It seemed to just pop up and I allowed it to flow. Normally I try to shake it off because I'm so adamant that I don't want to return home, but I've had a shift in my head and I am open to the idea of returning to the UK. 

On Wednesday night I was thinking about my home town Liverpool, how I'd like to return and work in the city, perhaps join a community of vegans or I could work temporarily in accounts to earn the most money. Then I thought about Manchester, a city that I love so much. I've also thought about London and the Isle of Wight. 

There's so much that I have not seen in the UK and I seem to have been given a new love for exploring my own country. Perhaps I'm being called home or my intuition is nudging me to go. 

I no longer have thoughts like "I hate England" or "I'll never go home". I really do think something has shifted within me but I guess only time will tell! I'd love to reconnect with my friends and family, but I'm not saying I will remain in the UK permanently. In fact my thoughts are to be there for a few months and repeat last year, go to the magical island that is La Palma in November and then Bali followed by Australia. English winters can be hard and I think it's important to go where the sun is. 

I also keep fantasising about using hair straighteners on my hair. I really like my crazy curls but sometimes I would like to be vain for a day or two and dress up to impress myself, feel ladylike in my dresses and heels and perhaps turn a few heads along the way. Of course I don't need it to feel like a goddess, but I like the idea of not wearing a t-shirt and shorts for a while! 

I am grateful that I can be free and the universe will provide the opportunities for me. I appreciate that my family support my decisions and are always willing to help me achieve my dreams. 

Thailand Blog :: bananas

Fasting in Bangkok has proved difficult, mainly because I do it at the worst times (volunteering at a hostel) and due to the fact that if I go out there's fruit and juices everywhere! I'm always tempted and I allow it to play on my mind so much that it affects my dreams. 

For example, Wednesday night I dreamt about bananas. Seriously, my dream was about bananas. I was eating the small lady finger bananas that are so sweet. I'm pretty sure I had more than one dream about bananas. I haven't even eaten bananas for perhaps 2 weeks! So I went out yesterday morning and bought some of Thailand's special apple bananas, organic and sweet. So sweet in fact I think I'm eating sugar! 

I think bananas are a superb fruit even though people say it's hybrid this and that. I love to try new varieties but my favourites are red, lady fingers and apple (or ice cream) bananas. I want to start eating more bananas again throughout the week. 

I am so grateful that I've been able to try these varieties in their home country. To taste sweet, ripe bananas fresh from the tree. I appreciate nature and all that she provides. 

Thailand Blog :: my own room

It just occurred to me as I'm on the bus heading to Chanthaburi that I've forgotten what it's like to have my own room. I was fretting about spending 280 baht per night on a room, but now I'm thinking about it that's cheap considering I paid 250 to stay in a dorm!

I have been living in dorms for at least 8 weeks now, sure some nights I had a room to myself but the majority of my time has been spent with other people. 

Do you know why I'm excited? Well firstly, I can walk around naked! Sometimes I don't want to wear clothes but it can be difficult sharing a room with others. When I stayed in a girls dorm I wasn't afraid of getting naked to change my clothes, but I have to be more conscious when I stay in a mixed dorm. Secondly, I can dance, sing, play ukulele, meditate, lay in bed, do whatever the heck I want without the need to be considerate for anyone in the room. Sure I'll think about my neighbours but man I have felt somewhat restricted living in dorms. 

I'm really looking forward to being alone now. I think part of the reason why I have been up and down, here and there and slightly confused is because I haven't had that serious alone time with myself. Fair enough I'm travelling solo and do everything alone but it's not the same as being alone with no one to talk to. I'm looking forward to not having to speak! This may be the perfect time for me to retreat for a few days and avoid civilisation. 

I think it is so important to be comfortable with being alone but similarly it's important to be able to socialise and not lose that feeling I get when being alone. Often I'm thrown off balance and find that I lose everything I've worked for when being alone. It's very difficult to stay centred and I believe that is the issue I need to overcome in order to integrate back into a standard society. Especially when having such different views and opinions regarding the thing we all have in common, food. 

I'm so grateful that I have this opportunity to travel and grow as an individual. I appreciate having the time, energy and love to do this. May I be blessed forever more by God for my life. 

Thailand Vlog :: volunteering

Today I took a one to one private English class with Mint, she came last night and I felt like I did a terrible job but I think that's the perfectionist in me. I believe that I'm really developing my listening skills when I teach and from remembering what Mint likes to do I was able to plan a lesson around her interests. 

So today's lesson was designed around her passion for fashion and the possibility for job applications. Yesterday she told me how much she would love to be a fashion designer, but her mum doesn't allow it so instead she works as cabin crew for a new airline. However, Thailand have received a bad report from Japan, China and a few other countries so they no longer have flights. Mint said that she would like to work for Qatar or a similar airline so I thought it would be good to practice being able to talk about her strengths and weaknesses. 

The lesson started by me showing her some pictures of women and asking her to describe their clothes and appearance. I corrected her mistakes and then I asked her to repeat the same exercise using new images. Each time there were improvements and at the end of the lesson I had her repeat it one more time. I feel confident that she understood, but I will find out tomorrow by repeating the same exercise. 

Regarding the attributes exercise I wasn't entirely confident with it because let's face it job applications are generally hard work anyway, but I guess it was useful to practice speaking in full sentences. 

I find 2 hour lessons are exhausting, especially one on one as there's no one else to break it up. However, today was good because we did something different, the first day we just talked for 2 hours! I'm thinking about taking her to the mall tomorrow so we can people watch and look in the shops so she can practice the descriptive sentences again. 

I'm also thinking that she could describe something to me, perhaps an item of clothing or an ensemble and I will draw it (but my drawing skills aren't exactly perfect Haha!). I hope I get to continue teaching her. 

All in all I'm enjoying this more than when I was at the school. I find that I am better communicating with young adults than with children. They say that life mirrors you so I need to contemplate why I don't like being around young children... Some would say it's because I am a child. Hmm.. 

Using time effectively

I had the realisation today about how I want to spend my time and I figured I'd let you all know in case it inspires you to think and do a similar thing. 

As it dawned on me how ridiculous my travel goals are/were, basically travelling for food, I came to the conclusion that if I remove food from the equation I'm left with an incredible amount of time. For a raw vegan, food essentially becomes the be all and end all of life. In a nut shell we're conditioned to think we need to have x amount of calories and so we're forever chasing those calories and making sure we have enough supply to keep us going because despite the times when we ate a standard diet and skipped a meal now and then, as a raw vegan we might die of starvation (exaggeration!). 

Not only does it take up time eating food, we must calculate the time spent travelling for food, preparing it and planning our every meal. 

So, when I have all of that time back I'm left wondering what I can do. When you suddenly have an incredible amount of time it can become overwhelming and if you've previously eaten through boredom then it is very tempting to reach for something to eat once again. But this time I've prepared a list of activities I have enjoyed doing throughout my life and always wished for the extra time to perfect them. 

1. Photography. I love photographing flowers, architecture, vintage cars, art and design. I'm sure if I spent more time perfecting this skill I could take better photographs and perhaps sell them in the future. 

2. Playing the ukulele. This is a new skill I'm developing and I bought a book with 127 songs to learn. I'm sure that will take up a lot of time but with having more time to play I will be busking on the streets in no time! 

3. Dancing. A passion of mine since an early age but never fully dedicating my time to it. Now I can learn every style of dance that I want to without worrying about "carbing up". 

4. Yoga. This has been an on and off interest of mine for a few years but time, practice and patience always get in the way. Now I will have no excuse. I'm thinking that a yoga retreat might be a good start. 

5. Meditation. I'm in Thailand and I have been contemplating doing a 10 day silent meditation retreat. I have no excuses. If I don't need to eat then my diet no longer causes an issue. I want to learn from the so called masters and this is my opportunity to do so. 

6. Learn languages. Travelling is amazing, but sometimes I would love to speak the language of the country I'm travelling it. Sure English is widely spoken, but I think it takes great intelligence to master a language. I should at least try to learn 1 other language. 

7. Reading. There's no excuses for this one either. I struggle to read educational texts but there's no reason why I cannot spare 1 hour a day for a book. Plus libraries are open worldwide so my excuse for wanting to hold a physical book is not valid. I can just go to a library! 

8. Singing. I loved being a member of the Redditch Operatic Society a few years ago and learning the songs for Tarantara Tarantara, it would be great to be part of a society like that again and putting on a big show after weeks of hard work. 

9. Running/jogging. I would love to perfect this activity and increase my distance in the right setting. 

10. Creating my own art. I learned how to draw a few years ago (after studying Architecture at university and not knowing how to draw properly!) and I haven't used this knowledge since. I used to fantasise about travelling in Italy with a car and sketching the coastal views and scenery along the way.

11. Sewing. I love fabrics and I love clothes. I sold my sewing machine to come travelling but with a little effort I can buy a better one and continue my passion for (my weird) fashion! 

As you can see I have a lot of ways to fill my time. I just need to be proactive, stop dwelling and making excuses and just do it! There's so much to be discovered that the possibilities really are endless. 

Thailand Blog :: school

It was my 4th day at the school and it went slightly better. My job today was to look after the art room and instruct the children to make a toy. They were grouped in age range so that it's easier for us to help. 

The ideas that the kids came up with started off terribly from the first group. I asked one girl what toys she played with and she said none. These children come from wealthy families, but I guess they aren't spoilt like us westerners. I asked about dolls, doll houses, building blocks, cars, etc. Her response was she played with her cousin and they didn't have toys. Hmm... I was stumped. 

I expected at least one child to suggest making a computer device (because they love playing on the laptop) but not one person suggested it. In England there would be a class of 20 and only 5 people would suggest something other than a tablet/ipad/phone. It goes to show how different our countries are... 

I got the most enthusiasm from my final group, which made the last hour go by so quick. Only 1 person wanted to make a weapon, which was also surprising. Boys normally want to play with guns or swords! 

I have to say that these kids are so cute though. Asian children have an extra cuteness factor, even if English isn't their first language and I struggle to understand them. It's the big brown eyes, dark hair and skin. I just sit a laugh sometimes. But no matter what skin, race or religion, all children are the same. Innocent, strange and random :P

I'm going to stay until the 28th and then I will go on to another voluntary experience. 

Thailand Blog :: staying put

Today has been interesting. I checked out just before 11am still undecided about where to go and what to do. I had thought about visiting Ayutthaya but my heart just wasn't fully in it so I decided to join workaway and apply for numerous placements. 

As I waited for replies I had some errands to run. First I needed cash, then I cycled to Pro Bike opposite Lumphini Park (I cycled around it once) and after getting back I convinced myself I'd have one last trip to Rasayana (of which could have paid for 3 more visits to the fruit buffet...). 

I checked my emails again and had 2 responses. So far I've replied back to one that I'm interested in. It's not far from Bangkok, I'm pretty sure it's a durian growing region so I should be present for when they start coming into season and it's working in a small village that's quiet. I love quiet times where I can be alone with my thoughts. 

So I've just checked in again and I have a new room (I've been in 4 rooms now). This one has the best view, I see skyscrapers and the view at night is incredible. It reminds me of being up on the Baiyoke Sky Hotel observation deck. 

As much as I love the city, I also love the peace and quiet. I miss seeing a clear sky of stars (as in La Palma) and breathing in fresh air. I hope I can go tomorrow, but it gives me the opportunity to get to Chatuchak Market to buy an ukulele so I can play it during the evenings. Perhaps I can learn some kids songs so they can sing along during class :) 

Life lessons

I learn something new everyday, whether that be a new word in a different language or I become aware of certain things I do that I had never noticed before. Life is full of lessons and I have had a few this week. 

The first lesson I have learned is that I have been excluding myself from so many social situations that it has partly fuelled those lonely times when I just needed a friend. The reason is because of my lifestyle. 

80/10/10 aka raw veganism has changed my life incredibly in the 2 years I've known about it. I changed my diet, changed my beauty routine, changed my goals, job, even friends and this is great, BUT I have also excluded friends and family from my life and missed out on events that I would normally love to attend. I have avoided situations because I thought that these people were no longer relevant in my life because they don't eat the same as me. 

What a fool! 

I don't have anyone to blame but myself. How can I follow a so called compassionate lifestyle trying to bring balance and harmony to myself through what I eat and what I practice, yet I cut myself off from the majority of the world?! Sure I need to love myself first before I can love anyone else, but I also need to love EVERYONE and not just the minority that follow my lifestyle. And let's face it, the raw food movement is full of anger, bitterness, backstabbing, jealousy, greed and hypocrisy right now so we're not "better" than anyone else. 

Love man no matter what, for most of them are still sleeping and do not know any better. One day we will no longer be animals, we will realise our potential as spiritual beings. 

The second lesson I have learned is regarding food. I am a binge eater. I am a thoughtless eater and I am greedy. It's not really a new lesson though because I've always known this, it's just recently I have become increasingly aware of what I am doing. It's as if I am deliberately trying to make myself sick and I think subconsciously I am, so that I can learn how to break my food addiction and realise that it is absolutely ridiculous to plan everything in my life around food. And yes, you can be addicted to all foods, not just cooked ones, which I broke the addiction for last year! 

This is a third lesson. I am living for food. My travels are solely planned around food and the raw food lifestyle has encouraged these bad habits. I've listened to people who say "you need to get in the calories", "carb up", "fat makes you fat", etc. Again I only have myself to blame. I eat until I am stuffed, I eat when I think I should (because of school, jobs, etc we have to eat when we're given the free time) and I eat when I desire it, not when I am hungry. Eg say I eat a fruit meal of melon and I see durian but I'm not hungry, I'll still eat the durian. 

As I cycled to yet another fruit market I questioned my sanity. Why am I cycling around Bangkok for fruit? Why am I not submerging myself in local culture or history? I haven't seen one gallery, museum or performance in Bangkok. Last year I visited 2 temples and the rest of the time was spent shopping in the malls or hunting down fruit. 

I have spent so much money in Rasayana, it's not even funny. I have used so much time eating when I'm not necessarily hungry and where does it all go?! Down the toilet. Essentially I'm flushing money away down the toilet! 

I don't believe we need to eat as much as we are told to, especially on a raw food diet, the fact that were eating nature's candy is enough for our bodies, but the more we eat the more stress we put on ourselves. Of course my aim isn't to be an athlete, but I don't want to live my life for food. Food is medicine after all. Let's use it wisely. 

To wrap this up I want to thank one particular person from my hostel. Matthew was so open, friendly, welcoming and kind to me (and everyone else) when I met him, despite our differences in lifestyle choices he's showed me there's more to life than what we eat. I have enjoyed listening to his background (and boy what a life he's had!) and have had a good laugh. It doesn't matter what you eat, it's about what you do with your life and how you interact with people. Sure watching someone eat a dead animal has its downside, but it's no fun to constantly exclude yourself because of it. At least that's what I've discovered recently. 

We may think differently about food, but life experiences are of greater value. Plus you never know who you will influence :) 

Borneo Blog :: tarap, durian, coconut milk

Today has been epic! 

I wanted to buy a cheap tarap as a last goodbye to this amazing fruit, so Des took me to Dongonggon Tamu on his motorcycle. On the way he took a detour to a different market near Cyber City apartments close to KK airport. 

This market did not have tarap, but it had an incredible coconut milking machine! I say milk, but it was thick like cream. Oh so good. I got a 500g bag but only drank half as I was already still full from breakfast (my new favourite avocado, coconut oil and soaked walnuts). 

I put the rest in the fridge when I got back but after checking it a few hours later it has turned sour! Seriously the fridge in this hostel is absolutely rubbish at keeping milk fresh! 

So after this we went to Dongonggon and I was so disappointed to find that the tarap was more expensive than what I found in KK the previous day... However, I did find a lady selling just 1 for 3 ringgit. It's not the cheapest I've paid but it was still cheap in my opinion. It isn't ripe until tomorrow. 

As the tarap has to wait until tomorrow I decided today would be my final durian in Sabah. I had only planned on getting one, but as I'm addicted I ended up buying 4... I got a tray labeled as Musang king, but if it was it was over ripe. It didn't taste as amazing as I expected based on other people's reviews... And so I bought 3 wild durian. One after the other of course, after each one I said "OK this is the last" but it is by far my favourite durian I've ever tried so I had to eat until I was 100% completely sure I couldn't eat any more. 

I feel good though, I definitely did not over do it like in Ranau. 

Then to top off the day nicely I had a chat with my Mum :) it's been a long time since we talked, mainly because she works and I'm 8 hours ahead of the UK. 

High fat low carb is hard!

I shot myself in the foot today. Apparently I should be avoiding high GI foods, so the tasty mashed banana and avocado I had for breakfast wasn't ideal. I also ate 1 medjool date. It caused a huge sugar craving and I ended up eating the ripe champedak that has been in my company since the orchard visit over a week ago. 

To compensate I bought a fresh bottle of coconut oil (the one from Bali is on its last drop) and I added it to my salad, I took it like medicine and I added it to the coconut water I had from the coconut stand (first I poured the water into my sports bottle and ate the fatty thick meat mmm). However, my carbs have been seriously high! My ratio for the day is 73% fat, 22% carbs and 5% protein. 

I think it would be much easier if I had a blender so I could whip up some nut cheeses, milks and sauces. But I am doing my best. I managed to control my sugar cravings, however, I don't think it's the best diet for travelling in tropical countries even if I am aiming for ketosis. Firstly, it makes me hot. I'm pretty sure nuts are heating foods. Secondly, there's so much to prepare like soaking the nuts at the right time. That's one thing I make sure I do, soak and rinse nuts. 

I've decided that tomorrow I will finish the avocados and almonds and after that I'll be back on fruit. I want to eat tarap so I hope I can get some before I leave on Saturday. I visited the market today and I don't remember seeing any. Also ripe bananas were scarce too! I have no idea what's going on at the market but it appears since I gave up fruit for a few days they stopped catering for my desires! 

PS I cannot access Instagram at this hostel, which sucks but it's actually nice to take a break from it! 

Borneo Blog :: KK

Where all the magic happens... 

I always lack confidence about my decision to move on to another place and I definitely felt that returning from Ranau to Kota Kinabalu. But as soon as I got on my bike and cycled down familiar roads I was happy. To feel the hot sun on my bare legs and the sea breeze brush past my face was incredible and it made me realise that I actually missed it. 

With no accommodation booked I didn't let that stop me stopping next to the sea and enjoying a tasty tarap from Ranau. It was an amazing meal sat by the rocks hearing the waves crash and seeing the ships in the distance. I love KK. It's a city, yet there's nature all around. 

My favourite things about KK are the modern amenities of a city (mall, cinema, etc) and the close proximity of the sea, beach, parks. It's a great place to be and I'd say it caters to everyone. Especially if you love karaoke hahaha 

I also like that I can speak as much English as I want and be understood. I'm terribly lazy learning languages but due to the heavy influences of the English here from the wars it's a great place to come. 

Borneo Blog :: Living alone

Ranau has been an amazing place to relax, build routines and be carefree and part of that has been due to living by myself. I previously spent 3 weeks in KK living in a shared dorm so it was a welcome relief. However, a couple came to stay this evening and as nice as it is to socialise I've realised how important it is for me to have my own space in the evenings. 

I think that's partly why I was a bit reluctant for my new friend Nelli to stay because having another person here disrupts my flow, and although I'm adaptable as a Virgo I'm still easily put off doing things I'd normally do. I kept thinking how awful I was for not wanting Nelli to stay, was I selfish? But she ended up canceling and moving on from Ranau. 

I'm still trying to understand myself and this is one of the issues I need to examine closer. I have always been in relationships where I'd want to move in with a guy, but recently I just want to be on my own. I can really see now why my mum is OK living alone... I just want to do the same! 

The day time is for socialising in my opinion, the evening is for winding down and sleeping. However, it seems that the night time is when people normally come alive. This was the case when I lived in the tree house in La Palma, I would be disturbed all night as I tried sleeping. Thankfully the couple didn't make too much noise, it was just the creaking of heavy footing on the floor boards that created a noise, but now I have to be conscious about what I do, especially using the Internet! (When I upload my YouTube videos I cannot do anything else and it gets switched off at night and whenever I leave, but these times are the best times for uploading my videos and photos) 

I am not sure what my next destination is but I know that I'd like to be in a quiet place away from people. I guess I am introverted and like alone a time great deal. 

Borneo Blog :: Poring Hot Springs

I got on my bike again with my cycling shoes and went to Poring Hot Springs. I didn't fall off but the left pedal is really tough to remove so I need to look at it again to make sure I have it on the easiest setting not the hardest! My hand still hurts from the fall when I do my morning stretches and yoga plus doing handstands  (which I don't do often because of the hand), so I hope it heals soon!

Poring means bamboo in Kadazandusun language, so there's no surprise that you'll find a lot of bamboo in this area. It's 19km from Ranau and most of that is downhill. However, the last 4km is up some steep hills and past some dogs so it's best to dismount if you're not an experienced cyclist. I find that when I walk with the bike I actually get a calf workout more than when I'm on the bike, so it's a bonus to walk sometimes.

The scenery of this area is incredible. Jungle, mountains, wooden houses, paddy fields, fruit trees, etc breathtaking and beautiful. However, when you travel by bicycle it's hard to pay attention to it all because sometimes the other road users are inconsiderate and there are potholes to look out for.

When I arrived I changed into my normal clothes and shoes and ate my lunch, which were banana date dogs (like a hot dog with the banana being the sausage and the date being the bun). So good, especially after cycling! Surprisingly I didn't eat them all so I kept them in the container for later (and that was a welcome relief!) I have had my dates since leaving the UK, they're my emergency fruit but it's not really that necessary in South East Asia unless you're only transiting between countries, but most of the time there's always fruit at the airports!

I headed to the tropical and orchid gardens. When I got there the man was saying there's not a lot to see. He was really off putting, which was strange because they charge money to see these gardens on top of the conservation fee you pay at the entrance, so I'd have thought they'd want some money! I paid and he was right, but I still saw some amazing greens and a pitcher plant I've never seen before in my life, so it was totally worth it! As the last guests to visit entered the gardens over 11 days ago I walked through so many cobwebs, it was horrible! I wished so much I had my leggings on. The tropical garden had a 700m trail, but after going 250m and through an aviary enclosure I wanted to get out asap! The cobwebs here were just insane! This is one of the reasons I'm reluctant to go into the jungle.

I think I spent an hour here even though it felt really quick, I did take lots of photographs in the orchid garden so that's probably why time disappeared so quickly.

After these gardens I walked to the hot springs entrance and went to the butterfly garden. The same thing happened when I was buying my ticket! As it was raining lightly the man said there's no butterflies, but I wanted to go anyway. The gardens were beautiful and I saw so many butterflies! I think they need to be trained better here to avoid putting tourists off!

There's a room with dried butterflies, some are stunning. The colours are fascinating, pearlescent beauty, it makes me wonder about mother nature. How she produces so many wonderful things. Then there's a room for bugs *shudders* they're gross! After this room is the butterfly enclosure where they vary in size and colour. I think it's quite sad that they're kept in a cage because they just fly up to the sky and want to get out. I think just like zoos this is quite cruel and I do wonder if I should have paid for it, but at the same time they're providing a safe environment for the butterflies to enjoy the plants there. It's one of those vegan issues that I should contemplate.

So the butterflies were amazing and I loved watching them. When I left the enclosure I was treated to more butterflies flying in the open. Wow. I love these creatures.

After the butterfly garden I went to the canopy walk. They charge you money to use your camera! Crazy. So I refused to pay and my time is just recorded in my memories. You'll have to take my word for it that it was incredible! At one point I fantasised about the ropes snapping, what would I do?! I loved looking at the trees above, producing a silhouette of leaves against the sky. Beautiful. Then I looked down and saw the water flowing. It was interesting to look down because I almost got frightened but I seemed to be OK once I accepted it.

Onto the hot springs. It's quite crappy in my opinion. They've built bath tubs to fill up with the water but it's really artificial and not very authentic. You can look at a natural spring but you cannot go in it. In Turkey you can go into numerous pools with rocks and the natural slime and even though some of that is man made (at least to make it usable by people) it still felt authentic. The bonus is I had a whole tub to myself! 

I made my tub really hot. Immediately I felt the benefits, my skin was even silkier, I felt so relaxed, even though I was unable to lay completely flat, and my muscles released all their tension. Ahhh bliss. I stayed in for about 30 minutes and then got changed into my cycling gear. 

The journey home was more fun as I got to go fast down the hills I climbed on the way, exhilarating. The steady inclines were not too challenging either. I gave myself 2 hours to get back and I did it in 1 hour 30 minutes so I was really pleased. 

Borneo Blog :: too much durian?

If you haven't been expecting this post I'd be surprised. So if you've been following my Instagram then you'll know I eat a lot of durian every day (pretty much since I got to Ranau). Therefore, it was inevitable that this day would come that I say perhaps I've been eating too much! :P 

This morning I didn't feel all that great in my stomach. I actually burped a bit of sick during my morning coconut. I thought perhaps I didn't leave enough time between dinner and breakfast. I've read some raw vegans leave at least 16 hours between their last meal and first meal. I think I left around 10 or 11 hours between my late salad and coconut. 

Yesterday I ate 1 normal durian, 1 wild durian and 2 packets of mixed durian, which together made me so full. It was an eyes bigger than my belly moment and I just couldn't resist, which makes me question whether durian is actually an addictive fruit. 

I was going to avoid eating durian today, but I went up to Kundasang with my new friend Nelli this morning and on the way back we stopped at a durian stall just outside of Ranau town. It had so many varieties like D24, D101, kura-kura, tembaga and many others. So I tried the D24 (Nelli thinks it wasn't actually D24) and I bought a kura-kura because someone on Facebook has asked me for the seeds. 

The kura-kura was actually quite poor, tasting like it may have been a day too old and it wasn't as sweet as the D24 I had. Then the lady at the stall offered us free durian so I had a few pieces and it was creamy and semi sweet. 

Early on before going to Kundasang I bought 4 wild durian. I left them at Nelli's hotel, which is opposite the market! Unfortunately one of them was so ripe it had cracked at all seams and was calling me with its scent, so I've just polished it off... 

Nelli has worked on some durian farms, collecting them in return for free food so she's had some amazing durian. She reckons the durian here doesn't taste as good as in Kuching (Sarawak) and I'm beginning to realise just how mediocre it is in comparison to wild durian, which packs a punch of flavours. I think from now on I'm just going to eat wild durian here in Ranau unless I'm presented with something amazingly sweet smelling. 

It's not that hard to pick it up around here, so fingers crossed I can continue to get some from the market. 

I've been planning my days this evening and I am thinking about cycling to the hot springs tomorrow to see the rafflesia flower (weather permitting). I've been sat around for too long, I need to get out and take some amazing photographs. There's a butterfly farm, orchid conservation centre, canopy walk and waterfalls at Poring, so it will be a long day in nature. I will pack my basket full of fruit so I will have the energy to see it all! 

I definitely want to see Kota Belud tamu on Sunday and proceed to Kudat, so I want to round off my time here in Ranau by doing the things I had planned to do when I was in KK. I just need to figure out the logistics of buses and taking my bicycle. If it's possible to cycle for part of my journey I am definitely interested in doing that! 

So even though I've eaten too much durian, I'm still going to to eat it but just wild durian because it's the most flavourful and apparently is lower in fat! 

Borneo Blog :: cover up with a hijab

Today I did something I never thought I'd do, inspired by a lady I met in Thailand last year I decided that I would cover up my body including my hair. 

After almost experiencing a sexual assault in Kota Kinabalu it made sense to try it and although I felt silly it felt empowering. However, the first few comments were not what I expected. I did this to almost blend in, to go unnoticed and be left alone, but as soon as I reached the market I heard people heckling "oh my god, beautiful!" 

Personally I felt ugly because sometimes I think my hair is what makes me pretty being golden blonde and all, but that wasn't the point! I didn't want people to make a fuss but of course a white woman wearing a hijab is going to generate attention. 

As I walked around to the rear of the market, where locals come and sell their produce, I had lots of stares, smiles, giggles, etc. I think perhaps one or two people talked about me in a negative tone but I've no idea what they said because I don't speak the language! 

One lady selling flowers came over to talk to me whilst I ate a really good papaya, she thought I was a local until she saw my face and then she was excited to practice her English. She very kindly gave me her English-Malay book because she thinks I should learn Malay. My dedication to languages is appalling but I do like this country and will probably visit regularly so it's only right to at least try! 

So after the market I went home and stayed home for the rest of the day. It was the hottest, clearest day today so I couldn't stand the heat in the clothes and hijab. I took it off around 3pm because I was just sweating profusely. 

It was definitely an interesting experience and I got excited about the different colours, accessories and clothes I could wear, but after posting on my Facebook page and having someone comment about the body I realised I don't want to cover up. Sure I should be more considerate and respectful of other cultures and religions, but I'm all about being natural. Let me quote Dane who replied to my post 

"I see nothing wrong with our bodies as they naturally are, and I think if someone has some sort of problem simply seeing another persons body, then they most likely have mental/emotional issues, or at the very least some strange ideas running through their mind. I think perhaps it would be better for these people to deal with their issues rather than have everyone cover up so that these people can happily ignore their issues and never have to face it... In fact I think covering up is what causes so much of the problem in the first place, it kind of makes a problem out of nothing, if everyone grew up seeing other peoples bodies all the time, it's highly unlikely they would have a problem with it, but because people cover up, then its becomes a big deal if people uncover themselves."

Borneo Blog :: durian orchard tour

I've relocated to Ranau, home of durian. It takes between 2-3 hours to arrive here by coach, depending on the traffic. There are many steep hills and if you get caught behind a lorry then the journey time increases! 

I'm in a homestay that has 7 rooms, but I'm the only person here! I have 3 bathrooms, a large living area and dining area, kitchen (with so many pink plates, bowls, cups! My kind of living!!) and balcony. It's awesome compared to the hostel. Also the temperature is lower due to being higher up, which is a welcome relief. I have been wearing my jumper and leggings so I appreciate having them (I've been wondering if I'd ever use them in the tropics!). 

The owner of the property also owns an orchard and when I told her daughter (Sherry) I love durian she immediately suggested taking me to see it. Unfortunately on my first day here it rained heavily, which cancelled the trip. However, I visited this afternoon. 

We took some very long battered roads. It's as if the council has forgotten that there's roads there because it hasn't been well maintained. Pot holes, bumps and huge chunks of tarmac are missing, which makes it hazardous and if you don't concentrate you could easily damage your car. 

When we arrived there were rows of papaya trees lining the entrance with huge fruit dangling from them, all green. It was muddy due to the rain so I took a stick to help my descent. I guess at this point I should mention that it was very steep, I don't envy the job of the workers because they have to navigate the orchard every day in all weathers carrying durian up these steep hills. 

The workers still use traditional baskets for carrying durian up the steep slopes

There were coffee trees, bananas, langsat, salak (snake fruit), mangosteen, coconuts, rambutan, another fruit similar to longon, some jungle fruit and of course durian. 

From top left clockwise : coffee, banana, langsat, fruit similar to longon (unknown name) and salak 

The views were incredible. It was amazing to see the durian hanging off the trees and then spotting empty branches where they've fallen to the ground set amidst a backdrop of steep mountainous landscapes. Breathtaking. 

Unfortunately I wasn't fully prepared because my camera battery plus spare ran out of power! So did my action camera. I am pretty sure I got all I could though. The weather wasn't fantastic either so the lighting was poor. 

Once we had had enough of walking around the muddy slopes of the orchard we returned to the entrance, where there is a large wooden building, and sampled some durian. My favourite part! Unfortunately Sherry forgot to call ahead of time to arrange for them to have ripe durian for me, but we did have 1 ripe durian to share (well I say we, Sherry and her daughter don't like durian, but her husband does!). 

Doesn't it just look so creamy and beautiful?! 

Apparently the people who work in the orchard don't see tourists often so they were excited that I came, that might be why they gave me a whole basket of durian to take back with me! I think it's 10 durians to be exact. I will be in durian heaven soon. It needs to ripen over 1 or 2 days. 

I have forgotten the durian variety, it's very pale, creamy and tastes like vanilla. Incredible. Sherry said the fruits are mainly round. I will update you when I eat the ones I have. 

Borneo Blog :: Tai Chi, the other woman, Ranau

I woke up to a message from Des asking me if I wanted to go to the beach with him and his son Ronald (another spooky coincidence, my dad is called Ronald...). I am pretty sure I hadn't even put my socks on and he was at my hostel already! I was feeling rather shaky this morning so I needed to eat something. It's the Sunday market on Gaya Street, right outside my accommodation so I didn't want to break my tradition of tarap for breakfast so I got a huge one! Little did I know Des was buying me durian! 

We drove to the beach and Des showed me some Tai Chi moves after I played in the park of course lol. Ronald was too shy to show me how strong he is on the monkey bars so I just hung upside down from them instead! Eventually he showed me, wow for 7 years old he has great upper body strength! 

Ronald was so shy! 

I met Des' wife and then his in laws, which was slightly awkward given that he just takes me on the back of his motorcycle, leaves me standing alone feeling like I'm his mistress lol awkward... 

After I packed my things Des picked me up in the car and drove me to the bus station! Seriously this man has done a lot for me considering I'm a stranger. After a few snaps he left because his wife's car couldn't start and he was attending a course at 2pm, when my bus was leaving. I waited almost 2 hours. I cannot believe how slow the first hour went but then the rest of the time flew by. 

V for vegan!
When I look at photos I wish I'd have a more stylish appearance... 

The bus took around 2.5 hours and the roads were so windy but the driver drove quite fast around the bends and I felt sick because of it plus the air freshener that he sprayed at the bus terminal in addition to the automatic ones the goes off every 10 minutes. It was so easy to find my new accommodation though. 

The guy who is in the house, Sampson, was so kind when I arrived, he drove me to the market so I didn't get wet cycling and he did a quick tour of the down. Very quick actually because this town is so small!

The durian here is so cheap. I bought one with a slightly red tint on the spikes, it was very pale inside and when I tasted it I almost died... Creamy, check, good flesh to seed ratio, check, tootie fruitie flavour, check. Wow. I was so happy because I only paid 4 ringgit for this beauty. 

And now I am here, sat writing this after munching on some iceberg lettuce, some pretty strange tasting tomatoes and a very crunchy carrot. Someone is practicing their drumming which sounds awful and I have that weird energy feeling I've had all day. As if my chakras have been activated and they're waiting for me to do some deep meditation. So I'm going to floss, brush my teeth, poop and go to bed. Perhaps tonight I will go to the astral side... One can try!