Thailand Blog :: my own room

It just occurred to me as I'm on the bus heading to Chanthaburi that I've forgotten what it's like to have my own room. I was fretting about spending 280 baht per night on a room, but now I'm thinking about it that's cheap considering I paid 250 to stay in a dorm!

I have been living in dorms for at least 8 weeks now, sure some nights I had a room to myself but the majority of my time has been spent with other people. 

Do you know why I'm excited? Well firstly, I can walk around naked! Sometimes I don't want to wear clothes but it can be difficult sharing a room with others. When I stayed in a girls dorm I wasn't afraid of getting naked to change my clothes, but I have to be more conscious when I stay in a mixed dorm. Secondly, I can dance, sing, play ukulele, meditate, lay in bed, do whatever the heck I want without the need to be considerate for anyone in the room. Sure I'll think about my neighbours but man I have felt somewhat restricted living in dorms. 

I'm really looking forward to being alone now. I think part of the reason why I have been up and down, here and there and slightly confused is because I haven't had that serious alone time with myself. Fair enough I'm travelling solo and do everything alone but it's not the same as being alone with no one to talk to. I'm looking forward to not having to speak! This may be the perfect time for me to retreat for a few days and avoid civilisation. 

I think it is so important to be comfortable with being alone but similarly it's important to be able to socialise and not lose that feeling I get when being alone. Often I'm thrown off balance and find that I lose everything I've worked for when being alone. It's very difficult to stay centred and I believe that is the issue I need to overcome in order to integrate back into a standard society. Especially when having such different views and opinions regarding the thing we all have in common, food. 

I'm so grateful that I have this opportunity to travel and grow as an individual. I appreciate having the time, energy and love to do this. May I be blessed forever more by God for my life.