Compulsive eating

I've noticed over the last week that my eating habits have become out of hand. Now I want to put down my thoughts and ideas as to why. 

I noticed that I wanted to eat because of boredom. It's not that I lack things to do here, there's plenty I can do, but I choose not to do anything and so I replace those activities with food. 

I am aware that I also become very drained around non native English speakers. It's easy enough for me to understand broken English nowadays, but when someone takes half an hour to tell me something that I could have said in 5 minutes (over exaggeration to get my point across) then I become very tired and want to retreat to my own space where I won't be disturbed by people. 

I use food as a way to escape. If I'm eating people are less inclined to have a conversation with me and the same for if I'm preparing things. 

I have forgotten that it's OK to just sit and breathe. Sometimes I think I should be doing something, even if that means eating when I'm not hungry. This precious time is vital and is called meditation! I need to get back into a routine where I meditate, love myself, give thanks, pray and contemplate. I've not been doing this recently. 

Going back to the point regarding people, I recently read an article about addiction and the discovery that it's not the drug that makes people become addicted, it's their environment, how they feel, how they interact with the world around them. In the back of my mind I have these thoughts that I am alone, there's no one like me who I will meet right now and so I go misunderstood. I cannot fully explain my being and if I could I'd be faced with unanswerable questions so I guess I bury it away and that's hiding who I am. 

Food is the easiest way to forget this or mask it because it's always been there for me. I have always eaten for comfort in the past so it's a habit I need to break. 

It's like I take 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Right now I'm on that step backwards, but soon enough I'll be moving forward again and fingers crossed I'll be able to say I conquered compulsive eating.