Borneo Blog :: know thyself

Since meeting Des I have been getting back on track with my spiritual journey. I've been questioning life, who I am, why, where, how, when, etc. I started reading the book Beverley sent me about Astral Projection and I have regained my focus. 

I think it's so important to question everything, especially your entire being. Why we are programmed, easily influenced, easily distracted and easily controlled by our senses and the world around us. I'm really starting to see that self knowledge is probably the most important practice we can do as individuals in order to fully understand everything else.

I have been more aware recently, of my surroundings, thoughts, reactions and actions. I often wonder "why did I just do/say that?" Then I contemplate and I'm hoping that these things I question won't happen again, or if I go to do something I'll be stopped beforehand. I find that the more I do this the easier it becomes but I am still a creature of habit and I make mistakes easily, so practicing self forgiveness is also something I'm working on too. 

One thing I've failed to address recently is my lack of energy, or general feeling of tiredness. I started taking b12 shots but in the last 6 months I should have had 2 shots and I haven't had any. I'm not sure if my lack in energy is from the lack of b12 shot or if there's something else. Generally the b12 didn't noticeably increase my energy so that's why I stopped. When I first went raw I was running on adrenaline so that's what I am comparing my levels to. Perhaps how I feel is normal. 

The reason I mention this is because part of the book I've been reading about astral projection states that in order to project it's important to be able to concentrate, clear the mind and focus all of your energy on leaving the physical body. The problem I'm having is that when I meditate I fall asleep. I guess partly because I meditate horizontally! I have had so many experiences of energy flowing through my chakras, but I cannot say I've ever had an out of body experience and usually I pass out before I can will it to happen. 

Let me just clear this up though, I sleep from 9pm till 6am give or take and I don't sleep during the day. I think that if I were more active my body would feel more awake. The fact that I'm sedentary for the majority of the day doesn't help. The raw food lifestyle changed my life and I do not ever plan to give it up. I admit I've been very lazy recently, so now I need to get back to a routine and see if my energy levels pick up. 

Part of my problem has been poor use of my time. I hope to incorporate more exercise and meditation into my routine as well as writing! The more creative I become the more I seem to open up to myself, like I unlock another door that reveals more of who I am. 

I hope that I keep this focus and discover a lot more. 

Borneo Blog :: Tai Chi, the other woman, Ranau

I woke up to a message from Des asking me if I wanted to go to the beach with him and his son Ronald (another spooky coincidence, my dad is called Ronald...). I am pretty sure I hadn't even put my socks on and he was at my hostel already! I was feeling rather shaky this morning so I needed to eat something. It's the Sunday market on Gaya Street, right outside my accommodation so I didn't want to break my tradition of tarap for breakfast so I got a huge one! Little did I know Des was buying me durian! 

We drove to the beach and Des showed me some Tai Chi moves after I played in the park of course lol. Ronald was too shy to show me how strong he is on the monkey bars so I just hung upside down from them instead! Eventually he showed me, wow for 7 years old he has great upper body strength! 

Ronald was so shy! 

I met Des' wife and then his in laws, which was slightly awkward given that he just takes me on the back of his motorcycle, leaves me standing alone feeling like I'm his mistress lol awkward... 

After I packed my things Des picked me up in the car and drove me to the bus station! Seriously this man has done a lot for me considering I'm a stranger. After a few snaps he left because his wife's car couldn't start and he was attending a course at 2pm, when my bus was leaving. I waited almost 2 hours. I cannot believe how slow the first hour went but then the rest of the time flew by. 

V for vegan!
When I look at photos I wish I'd have a more stylish appearance... 

The bus took around 2.5 hours and the roads were so windy but the driver drove quite fast around the bends and I felt sick because of it plus the air freshener that he sprayed at the bus terminal in addition to the automatic ones the goes off every 10 minutes. It was so easy to find my new accommodation though. 

The guy who is in the house, Sampson, was so kind when I arrived, he drove me to the market so I didn't get wet cycling and he did a quick tour of the down. Very quick actually because this town is so small!

The durian here is so cheap. I bought one with a slightly red tint on the spikes, it was very pale inside and when I tasted it I almost died... Creamy, check, good flesh to seed ratio, check, tootie fruitie flavour, check. Wow. I was so happy because I only paid 4 ringgit for this beauty. 

And now I am here, sat writing this after munching on some iceberg lettuce, some pretty strange tasting tomatoes and a very crunchy carrot. Someone is practicing their drumming which sounds awful and I have that weird energy feeling I've had all day. As if my chakras have been activated and they're waiting for me to do some deep meditation. So I'm going to floss, brush my teeth, poop and go to bed. Perhaps tonight I will go to the astral side... One can try! 

Borneo Blog :: Mari-Mari Cultural Village

Saturday 

Today I was invited to visit Mari-Mari Cultural Village with my new friend Desmond. Let me tell you about his name. He was the only boy at school with a non English name, so his friends told him to choose one. He chose Desmond because of a Beatles song that was popular at the time. Now if that's not destiny then I don't know what is. (I was born in Liverpool, home of the Beatles...) 

Des was picking me up at 4pm so I had the morning and early afternoon to laze around and take it easy. I went to the coconut stand and had one of the biggest coconuts I think I've ever seen (the previous day I had the biggest I've ever seen lol) and it was really sweet, but nothing beats the one I had at the beach so far that tasted like milkybar. 

I was sure I wanted tarap, so I got one from the market. I should have known that when it dripped on me in the market it was not a good one. Nevertheless I bought it. When I opened it the pods were purple and some had gone pink, gooey and rancid. So determined to get a good tarap I went back to ask for a better one or my money back. I ended up getting half my money back because the woman who sold it to me was only looking after the stall. Fair enough, I'm glad I got something back. 

So I didn't get one after that. 

Des picked me up early and we went walked around a park. He showed me where he does Tai Chi. It was a beautiful park. 

Then we went to the Brahma Kumaris centre that teaches Raja Yoga, which was interesting and I hope I taught them something about eating clean with my raw vegan lifestyle! 

After our visit we headed to the Cultural village. It was beautiful, a stream, bamboo buildings, trees, so much greenery. It got dark soon after we arrived so the photographs and videos will be quite dark. Stay tuned. There were many tasters, all non vegan of course but at the end after watching a dancing show with music you get to eat a buffet meal. Fortunately Des speaks many languages so he was able to pre order a raw vegan meal especially for me. I had watermelon, papaya, carrots, tomatoes, cucumber and then shredded salad. It was so good! 

On the way back (by motorcycle of course) I felt so chilled out, almost in a meditative state. I had my eyes closed for the majority of the journey allowing my senses and body to feel everything, from the wind in my hair, to the vibrations from the foot pedals on my feet through to my legs. Wow. This was probably the best journey I've ever had. I kept repeating the question "who am I?" and the sensations became stronger. Incredible. 

Perfect day. 

Borneo Blog :: short and sweet

Today I'm very tired after a sleepless night. The dorm was filled with 4 snorers last night so I ended up having a midnight durian feast and then felt tired enough by 2am to sleep, although I did need to listen to some meditation music in order to mask the sound of the snoring.

Needless to say I had a very late morning, I got up just before 11am and have a very chilled out day. I spent about 1.5 hours at the coconut stall eating a young coconut and a sprouted coconut, then I ate papaya! 

I watched The Wedding Ringer at 3:15pm, which was funny. I love going to the cinema to watch films and as I've mentioned before, to just forget I'm in a foreign country where people stare at me because I'm Western. I don't like being the minority, this is the only downside to travelling outside Europe. 

So before I sign off for the night I hope you take the time to watch my video of the adventure I had with my new friend. This was the best day of my travels so far and I hope I've made a friend for life! 

My amazing motorcycle tour

Borneo Blog :: bicycle, proposition, chill

This morning I didn't get up until after 10am! This is the latest I've been up in a long time because I didn't get to bed until after 11pm last night after my fabulous adventure.

After being put to shame last night by a 70 year old lady who does 100 push ups, pull ups, inverted head stretches and shooting some hoops every day, I felt it necessary to go for a jog to the coconut stand (and because my bike was still getting serviced). It's no more than 3km (and that's being generous) so it was no where near the intensity of that older lady! But we must start somewhere. I do admit I am lazy and if I want to be athletic looking I need to put some effort in. 

Sport has always been my weakness. I just like to sit around all day. 

So this afternoon I picked up my bicycle from the shop. I only had 111 ringgit with me, not thinking I'd need anymore than that, it's Asia and bike stuff is normally cheap. Well it cost 113 to have my bike serviced with parts replaced, but thankfully he let me off by 3 ringgit. It's shiny again so I put a sticker on it. I'm pretty sure it's a transformers sticker, now Barney is a transformer :) 

I have pretty much chilled all day and most of my time has been spent eating. From the coconut to yellow watermelon to champedak to bananas to salad to coconut meat and finally butterfruit. Seriously as soon as I finished breakfast around 12 I started eating lunch! I am shocked by how late I got up, it's so unlike me. I went to the cinema and checked the times too. I want to watch The Wedding Ringer tomorrow. It starts at 11:50 am, a good time to be indoors. 

The highlight of my day has been a proposition I received from a man who was staying in this hostel (if you follow my Instagram he's the one who asked if I am pregnant lol). He's asked me to come to China and live in his house for free and in return teach his 2 children English for a few hours. Such an amazing offer. Right now it's cold there so I won't be going any time soon. I'm going to think about it though but it does depend on my budget. I need a visa so that has to be factored in as well as flight costs. 

Things are looking positive for my future though :) 

Borneo Blog :: possibly the best day of my travels so far...

Wow, what a day. I've seen more of Borneo today than I have over the last 17 days! It all started earlier this morning. I had my bikini on ready to go to the islands but I wanted to pick up my t-shirts from the print shop before hand so I started walking over. I hadn't realised it was 9:30am and I'm pretty sure the shop didn't open till 10am so I was summing up whether I should just sit outside and wait or have a coconut instead. 

The coconut won because I didn't have one for breakfast and it's a good job I went else I would not have met Des, aka Chew. He's a 52 year old Malay from Kuala Lumpur and let me tell you I was so shocked when he said he is 52! He looks at least 10 years younger in my opinion. He loved that comment so bought my coconut for me! 

What a man he is. Well travelled, knowledgeable in raja yoga, tai chi and vegetarianism (his mother is 90 and is a thriving vegetarian!). I don't think he is vegetarian though,but when he was with me he only ate fruit and salad (with mayo but still no meat). He is married and has a son, but not biological (this man has some great stories!) 

So we talked for a long time in the morning and instead of going to the islands I'd agreed to meet him back at the coco place at 2pm so he could show me some waterfalls and watch the sunset high in the mountain on his motorcycle. Well of course when someone mentions motorcycle I'm in. I get such a thrill from riding motorcycles, although this was not the case as a child, I was frightened of my uncles bikes. 

Well I was early and had another coconut whilst I waited. I ended up having a conversation with an American stay at home dad. It's crazy how many people I've spoke to recently, my dream definition was right! 

I'm going to cut it short because I need to research the place names and it's way past my bed time so here goes, 8 hours condensed into a few sentences. 

We went up to the mountains, it was gorgeous, so many trees. The buildings looked very Americanised in my opinion. The river was stunning. The first waterfall was lovely but I got attacked by mosquitoes. We ate durian and then left. Onto the second waterfall. I got such a numb bottom on the bike so I started doing butt clenches to try to build up my muscle and natural padding! The second waterfall was also amazing but we didn't stay long. We ascended a really steep hill for the views of KK at sunset. 

When we got to the top there was cloud cover everywhere. We were in a restaurant and had ordered some fruit juice and salads. The juice was delicious by the way, pineapple, orange, celery and apple. I suggested that we both close our eyes and imagined the cloud moving away so that we could see the sun and KK below. After 2 minutes or so I say enough and within 10 minutes the clouds started clearing! We had some amazing views of the city but unfortunately the clouds covered the sunset. I was so amazed that it worked and it solidified my belief that what we think has a lot of power. 

After the food we head back down. Des showed me many places, the tour wasn't over. We went up another steep hill closer to the city, he took me to his shop and showed me his house and then we watched a water fountain show. 

I have had one of the best days of my life. I saw my first firefly and fell in love all over again with motorcycles, KK and the generosity of a stranger. 

I am so blessed to have met Des and I appreciate everything he did for me today. I think he was sent to me to show me that not all men are a waste of space! 

Borneo Blog :: meditation

Today started off well, I went on the bike to collect more sprouted coconuts, drank a coconut at the coconut stall and then combined the meat with papaya, which was super sweet and then I had the sprout around 10:30am.

I took my bike to the bike shop for a service, but it's not going to be ready till Thursday. After that I went to the cinema. I figured it was too hot and sunny to be out at midday so I just went. I ended up watching The Boy Next Door with Jennifer Lopez. She's the only reason I saw it and I reckon this is her worst film. It was such a bad storyline and the ending was so ridiculous. I didn't review Into the Woods (from what I can remember) well that film was better, but I thought they should have let the film end after 1 hour or so. Happily ever after suited me lol

Well let's get back to my day. Prior to this I was at the hostel and I received an email from Ronnie aka Fruity Ronster. He's also a fruit eater/801010er and I subscribed to his newsletter so I often relieve very long emails from him (this reminds me I need to set up a website and get a newsletter going to personally spam you hehe). I always enjoy reading what Ronnie has to say and I always relate. This time was spooky. He had written about forgiveness, how he had forgiven himself for how he handled a relationship and I have been thinking about my previous relationships recently and how I need to forgive myself, synchronicity. His email definitely helped. 

Once I finished reading I sent a reply and then I looked on YouTube for a meditation video. There's so many, but I decided 30 minutes was the right time for me. I was crying within minutes. It was such a powerful guided meditation and exactly what I needed. 

Check it out here. 

I have lost track recently, forgotten what's important and what I want to do on my journey. La Palma was just perfect, I meditated daily, gave myself so much love, I appreciated every day, said my prayers every day and I had the best time. But it's amazing how 2 months can change everything. I need to get back on track and I think this email from Ronnie was the sign telling me to do so. I aim to get back to daily meditations, prayers and gratitude and work on my spiritual growth. 

Often I get distracted or become side tracked, sometimes I recognise immediately but most of the time it takes a while to notice. It's important that I forgive myself for this. Forgiving is hard but empowering. I have to learn in order to grow. 

I recommend that you start meditating, whether it's 5 minutes or 1 hour. It's important to learn how to do this. Personally I prefer to lie down flat on the bed, close my eyes, put my headphones in and ether listen to a guided meditation or a meditation for the chakras. Sometimes I like to do it before I eat, sometimes after. Find the time that suits you and be consistent. It gets easier with practice. 

Let me know if you need any suggestions regarding meditation. 

Peace and love 💟