Day 2 Watermelon Cleanse

Well I disregarded everything I said yesterday, I stuffed myself once again despite not being hungry and I even had severe pain because of it. Will I ever learn?

I ate 2.5 watermelons totalling 7kg approximately.

I have experienced my kundalini energy flowing throughout my body since I went to bed last night. It's been wonderful, mainly staying in my stomach area but occasionally going up to my head and filling me with peace, calm and tranquility. Best day ever for that.

Day 1 Watermelon Cleanse

I had a terribly late night because I did not feel tired at all. In fact recently my sleeping patterns have been so erratic and it's possibly because I've been resting a lot during the day. 

I woke up after 8am and I drank 1.5 litres of water mixed with lime. I took myself off to the park for a brisk walk and I used some of the exercise machines. I figured I should be more active because I've been very lazy for nearly a month now. 

When I returned home it was after 10am and I wasn't hungry at all. So I waited another hour and still wasn't hungry. Strange. Perhaps it was the durian and then 100g of soaked cashews that I ate for dinner?! I started to think perhaps I wasn't ever going to get hungry so I just ate half a watermelon. 

It was probably the worst thing to do. I kept telling myself I should really wait for my body to tell me to eat but recently I've been eating for lack of something better to do (even though I could be doing so much!). Then I experienced severe stomach pain. I waited about 30 minutes before I ate the second half. Again I should have listened to my body. 

I waited around 3 hours before I started a second watermelon. I wasn't even hungry this time either but I ate it. 

I finished reading the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and it was so insightful. I have used food throughout my life as comfort and I recognise it, but I still have trouble implementing a way to stop that affecting me now. However, after saying that I did decide that I would surrender my power to God whenever I got the urge to eat (but didn't actually need to eat) and I totally dismissed everything I had discussed with myself in the park!

Tomorrow is a new day and I will try harder. 

Watermelon heaven

I decided after eating around 6kg watermelon this morning and feeling clean that I would do 3 days of just watermelon. Of course today I had mangoes and durian as well but from tomorrow I'll be on just watermelon. 

What I hope to get from this is a cleaner, lighter feeling in my digestive system. I'm hoping it flushes out any food that's been in there for a few days and encourages toxins to leave my body. 

I hope that I will become more aware and conscious about my eating habits. Recently I just shove it in until it hurts (I am talking about food!). I also want to try to move more, so I will exercise before I eat even if it's just a stroll around the park. 

I want to be able to recognise when I'm full, so I hope to be aware of the signals in my body. Lately I've ignored them. 

Finally I want to try to assess my relationship with food and see where I'm having issues. 

So I guess I'll let you know how I get on over the next 3 days! I love watermelon and the seeds are also very tasty :D

Thailand Blog :: transport

In my opinion the worst type of transport is bus/coach. The seats aren't comfortable and are not ideal designed. Perhaps it's my poor posture though. They lack decent arm rests and so I always end up with pain on one side because I'm twisting one way or the other. 

Sometimes I feel a little nauseous and dizzy from all of the swaying, bumps and stop starting on the roads but I think the worst is when the air con gets to me and gives me a headache and dry eyes. 

Some places in Thailand require a bus to get to, so there's no other option, especially with a bicycle to transport too. But I guess it's worth a few hours of discomfort when the destination is filled with durian... 

I much prefer the trains to the buses here and of course the planes take a much shorter time, but the environmental factors are important to note. If I had the money I'd probably hire a car and explore Thailand that way, then I can go wherever I want whenever I want and do whatever I want. This is especially good when spotting durian stands on the road, or national parks, waterfalls, etc. But again the environmental issues are to be taken into consideration. 

Perhaps in the future I'll look into luxury buses with reclining seats and pay that bit extra for comfort. 

I am grateful that I have access to so many transportation options. I appreciate that I can go anywhere. 

Summer migration

I have been thinking about home since the start of my latest fast. It seemed to just pop up and I allowed it to flow. Normally I try to shake it off because I'm so adamant that I don't want to return home, but I've had a shift in my head and I am open to the idea of returning to the UK. 

On Wednesday night I was thinking about my home town Liverpool, how I'd like to return and work in the city, perhaps join a community of vegans or I could work temporarily in accounts to earn the most money. Then I thought about Manchester, a city that I love so much. I've also thought about London and the Isle of Wight. 

There's so much that I have not seen in the UK and I seem to have been given a new love for exploring my own country. Perhaps I'm being called home or my intuition is nudging me to go. 

I no longer have thoughts like "I hate England" or "I'll never go home". I really do think something has shifted within me but I guess only time will tell! I'd love to reconnect with my friends and family, but I'm not saying I will remain in the UK permanently. In fact my thoughts are to be there for a few months and repeat last year, go to the magical island that is La Palma in November and then Bali followed by Australia. English winters can be hard and I think it's important to go where the sun is. 

I also keep fantasising about using hair straighteners on my hair. I really like my crazy curls but sometimes I would like to be vain for a day or two and dress up to impress myself, feel ladylike in my dresses and heels and perhaps turn a few heads along the way. Of course I don't need it to feel like a goddess, but I like the idea of not wearing a t-shirt and shorts for a while! 

I am grateful that I can be free and the universe will provide the opportunities for me. I appreciate that my family support my decisions and are always willing to help me achieve my dreams. 

Thailand Blog :: bananas

Fasting in Bangkok has proved difficult, mainly because I do it at the worst times (volunteering at a hostel) and due to the fact that if I go out there's fruit and juices everywhere! I'm always tempted and I allow it to play on my mind so much that it affects my dreams. 

For example, Wednesday night I dreamt about bananas. Seriously, my dream was about bananas. I was eating the small lady finger bananas that are so sweet. I'm pretty sure I had more than one dream about bananas. I haven't even eaten bananas for perhaps 2 weeks! So I went out yesterday morning and bought some of Thailand's special apple bananas, organic and sweet. So sweet in fact I think I'm eating sugar! 

I think bananas are a superb fruit even though people say it's hybrid this and that. I love to try new varieties but my favourites are red, lady fingers and apple (or ice cream) bananas. I want to start eating more bananas again throughout the week. 

I am so grateful that I've been able to try these varieties in their home country. To taste sweet, ripe bananas fresh from the tree. I appreciate nature and all that she provides. 

Thailand Blog :: my own room

It just occurred to me as I'm on the bus heading to Chanthaburi that I've forgotten what it's like to have my own room. I was fretting about spending 280 baht per night on a room, but now I'm thinking about it that's cheap considering I paid 250 to stay in a dorm!

I have been living in dorms for at least 8 weeks now, sure some nights I had a room to myself but the majority of my time has been spent with other people. 

Do you know why I'm excited? Well firstly, I can walk around naked! Sometimes I don't want to wear clothes but it can be difficult sharing a room with others. When I stayed in a girls dorm I wasn't afraid of getting naked to change my clothes, but I have to be more conscious when I stay in a mixed dorm. Secondly, I can dance, sing, play ukulele, meditate, lay in bed, do whatever the heck I want without the need to be considerate for anyone in the room. Sure I'll think about my neighbours but man I have felt somewhat restricted living in dorms. 

I'm really looking forward to being alone now. I think part of the reason why I have been up and down, here and there and slightly confused is because I haven't had that serious alone time with myself. Fair enough I'm travelling solo and do everything alone but it's not the same as being alone with no one to talk to. I'm looking forward to not having to speak! This may be the perfect time for me to retreat for a few days and avoid civilisation. 

I think it is so important to be comfortable with being alone but similarly it's important to be able to socialise and not lose that feeling I get when being alone. Often I'm thrown off balance and find that I lose everything I've worked for when being alone. It's very difficult to stay centred and I believe that is the issue I need to overcome in order to integrate back into a standard society. Especially when having such different views and opinions regarding the thing we all have in common, food. 

I'm so grateful that I have this opportunity to travel and grow as an individual. I appreciate having the time, energy and love to do this. May I be blessed forever more by God for my life.