Another water fast

So I'm doing another water fast and it's been my worst experience so far. 

Firstly, I have been using a technique of drinking coconut milk to get into ketosis. I've experimented with this method around 5 times now and the last 3 times has been with prepackaged coconut milk (rather cream) from the supermarket. 

When I was at home I'd make my own coconut milk by blending a mature coconut and lots of water. Here in Thailand they extract the pure milk from the coconut meat only, which is why I call it cream. I dilute what I buy here but it's still so sickly. 

After I drank it I felt so ill and after a few hours of gagging and feeling horrible I decided to make myself vomit. Now let me tell you quickly that this practice is very rare for me and I have only ever done it in the past when I've felt so ill that the choice to suffer all night would be more painful than to purge. Especially when alcohol was involved. 

So my fast started off terribly, although after I slept it off I felt aright and my throat had healed quickly from the burning! Today was the second day and I felt alright for the majority of the day, but I did sleep for most of the morning. The afternoon was horrible because every thought I had was about food. 

I started fantasising about the food I'd eat to break the fast. I ended up consuming some coconut oil to see if it would put an end to the thoughts. Nope. 

I started reading some fasting forums and reminded myself of why I'm doing this and the benefits I'll get out of it, but somehow I still cannot shake the thoughts of food. 

People say the 3rd or 4th days are the hardest but for me I can't get through 3 full days. Well I haven't really had a full day if you count the milk and oil! It's just a constant battle in my head. 

I rely on food for comfort and right now I need comfort and support so it's a real struggle for me. It's like a smoker trying to quit cigarettes or an alcoholic giving up alcohol. Food is my drug and I just want rehabilitation. To know that food is there but I no longer have to abuse it to be "normal".

I'm in a better environment now than I have previously been, so I don't know why I'm still struggling as much. The most important lesson I've learned recently is not to beat myself up over this. Although most of the time I feel like I could do better. 

I'm grateful for life and I appreciate the position I am in to be able to take these opportunities to develop. 

10 Coconuts a day

Move over 30 bananas a day, I have something better! I had 10 coconuts yesterday, liquid and meat and I was quite satiated all day. In fact when I woke up this morning I didn't feel the urge to eat and that's good because today I drank coconut milk, which is leading me into a water fast. 

I never realised how satisfying 10 coconuts could be. The water in my opinion tastes incredible, I would rather drink that than water! The meat, especially when it's slightly thick and very white, is very tasty too and I love eating it. 

I'm in the perfect location for getting coconuts and I am so happy I finally had a coconut day. Recently I've come to realise just how important and amazing coconuts are. I use coconut oil, which is perfect for oil pulling, moisturising, conditioning the hair and eating! So far the only thing I use the liquid for is to drink, but I've read that using the liquid on your face is a great way to moisturise too. 

I plan on doing a 7 day water fast starting tomorrow and this time I'll take it slow. I am hoping my body is able to clean itself and remove some toxins that remain in my fat cells. As long as I remind myself of the reasons and benefits for fasting then I can remain on track and hopefully carry on beyond my set time. 

To break the fast or not to break the fast?

This question has been circulating in my head all day, mainly because I went to a few supermarkets to look for nuts and avocados to see how much they cost and (regarding nuts) how much fat vs carbs they contain.

I read this article about fasting for lent as whilst some people give up one food item, I am giving up food altogether for my fast. I'm not actually fasting for lent though, but it is for spiritual purposes.

I keep debating when I will break my fast. So it's only been 2 days, which is 1 day longer than my previous water fasts! I feel fine, I know I don't need to eat any food, my energy is level but it's the ego that won't silence. The ego causes many of my poor choices and I believe that I am facing the challenge of proving my strength in order to shake it off. (Yes the ego is part of me, but it's not my spirit and I am trying to channel into my spirit) 

I want to defeat the ego, put it in its place once and for all. I prayed to God and the answer is that I know in my heart what I need to do. My heart tells me to keep fasting. I just need to get over the thoughts I have about food and stop being attached to them. 

I honestly believe by what I've read recently and just an internal knowledge that we can live without food. So my actions now are to detach myself from the desires of Man and develop a stronger power within myself. 

I have definitely come from an eating disorder background, which is over eating. I have only calorie restricted for one or two periods in my life (mainly when money was tight and I was so focused on being thin), but this experience now is not coming from a desire to be skinny, it is coming from a want to be more connected to God, to my spirit and to the world around me. 

Recently I have demonstrated my greed and my inability to control myself, eating way too much durian plus eating till I'm beyond full and get pains (but eating through the pain). It's definitely unhealthy. I keep thinking about this one quote from the book I mentioned by Hilton Hotema

Electrons do not eat, atoms do not eat, molecules do not eat, cells do not eat, and the body does not eat.

Then why does man eat?

Page 18 Man's Higher Consciousness 

There is also mention of food actually causing us to die younger than we should. There are people recorded to live past 300 years old! I believe that we could live a long time, but with current living conditions, pollution and the like perhaps we cannot in this day and age unless we go to live in those places unaffected by man's destruction. 

Personally the best part of fasting is no defecation. It's wonderful not having to pass faeces. Sure I pee a lot because I'm drinking water, but passing stools is one of the major downsides to eating in general. 

So on that note I will leave you to ponder what I wrote! 

Fasting and breatharianism

Today I embarked on a water fast after an experiment I started yesterday. I felt a little tired this morning, but that was because I was up all night peeing from my bum from the previous day. I am glad to report that it stopped around 12pm.

I have been drinking water all day with no food cravings. I even walked past the market and had no desire to eat fruit or veg. I have a stash of persimmons that are super ripe and juicy that I would demolish in seconds on a normal day, but the only reason I want to eat them is to avoid waste, but that's easily solved by giving them to my fellow hostel stayers. However, I'm still keeping them just in case... 

I don't think I really talk about everything I do on here or YouTube regarding my spiritual journey, but today I want to mention my intentions. I believe in God (that I have mentioned a few times) but not so much a strict religion. I believe we were created as breatharians and so I want to eventually become a breatharian and what I'm doing today will strengthen my body in preparation for this event. 

I'm currently in a state of ketosis, which was confirmed by a urine test I had earlier today. Many people don't know what this is, or if they've heard of it they have been told some very negative information. People actually eat a low carb high fat diet to achieve the ketosis state and I've been reading about it and watching YouTube videos and I believe this is the way to go in order to really get back to our roots as breatharians. 

I admit that I am following the advice of someone else, but I trust this person entirely with my life and so far they've not failed me. 

My personal issues have been letting go of the attachment to food and my travels to Bali and Sabah have helped me break that. I have made myself ill from eating, even on a raw vegan diet, which greatly backs up my thoughts about breatharianism. Add to that a great book Man's Higher Consciousness by Hilton Hotema and everything makes sense to me that breatharianism is the way forward (or backwards if you look at how we've devolved!) 

I'm not looking for a debate, concern, encouragement or any opinions, I am simply letting you know where I stand right now. It pretty much contradicts my life over the last 2 years being a high carb low fat raw vegan, but this discovery came at the right time. God never gives us more than we can handle and I am ready for this. 

I am not offering encouragement either, I am not telling you to ditch your current lifestyle and follow suit, I believe a raw vegan lifestyle is an important step in preparation for cleaning the body, but there's a lot more than meets the eye. If you're interested in trying what I'm doing there are many steps to be taken beforehand. It has taken me 12 months to reach this stage.

Right now I feel good without food and I have not set a date for breaking the fast. Time will tell. For now I will enjoy this experience.