I've been working on awareness recently and I've been reading about the truth. It talks about humans being of an animal mind and it's not the first time I've heard that, but previously I wasn't ready to let it sink in.
I believe I'm learning what I need to know now, but there's been so many moments where I think "A-ha!" and then in the next moment I've been pulled back into the mind and forgotten all about the spirit. The book I'm reading says that will happen all the time if you're constantly surrounded by people of the (animal) mind, which is 99.99% of the population.
It's funny that the hours, days, weeks and months of "loneliness" I've spent recently have been filled with periods of meaningless thoughts and now I'm actually seeing the truth of life when I have a big social group around me.
I want to live in the present moment and I know from my recent experiences that it's very hard to do when around other minds, so the question is, do I go it alone and remove myself from these social situations or do I keep allowing myself to "enjoy the moment" and deal with it later?
The whole point of knowing the truth is to accept that I must live in this moment, and I've learned that to be in this moment I must focus on being aware, and to be aware I must be alone.
During the last two days I made a conscious decision to be aware, but as soon as I talk or interact with someone else I slip into autopilot again and I end up saying things before thinking, which has made me a hypocrite in some circumstances and I have reflected on these incidents and been shocked at my lack of awareness.
It's really difficult to switch off the mind/ego and be fully aware 100% of the time, even 20% of the time in most situations, and I am a little bit annoyed that I'm only just discovering/implementing this information into my daily life when I'm surrounded by other people. But life works in funny ways and I really need to decide what's the most important thing in my life right now and for my true future, especially what's beyond this human existence right now.
I think you may wonder what will happen to my blog and YouTube channel because I keep taking breaks. Well I imagine I'll be taking a permanent break soon whilst I connect to the truth.
Perhaps I'll start sharing what I've learned. One day, after I've come to fully understand it.
Until then I guess I'll just fill you in on what I'm doing as and when I feel inspired to do so.
I really hope you're all well. I return to the UK on 4th June and I'm very much looking forward to plenty of hugs from my family. My dad isn't very affectionate, but he will be soon enough, I plan to get as many hugs as possible that it will become second nature!
Peace and love
Jennifer x
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