My life has changed forever

Morpheus: The Matrix is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. 

There's no returning once your step out of the Matrix and I've sure learned that firsthand. 2014 was the year my life changed forever and 2015 will be the year that I probably make the biggest decisions of my life so far. 

The information put before me has altered everything I've ever known regarding food and man's existence. It has made me halt, put me at a stand still and I'm contemplating my next move. 

However, the reason for my early arrival in Thailand is due to this information, but it may also contribute to a potential early departure from Thailand if the environmental conditions are not ideal. 

I am not overwhelmed, but I am in a state of indecision. Do I use the information I've been provided with to implement change immediately? Do I take it slow, put it in the back of my mind and carry on as "normal"? Ignorance isn't really an option though, this has to be contemplated everyday. Every move, every decision, every thought. 

If I were given a choice to erase my memory and go back, I'd say no way. I am blessed that I am no longer living in the dark. I am also blessed that I have someone to talk to about it, the one person who has been very misunderstood by me and most people. The one person who I mistreated and bad mouthed. My love and appreciation for this man will never end. 

One day the entire population will know and understand this information and their lives will be changed too. For now, I accept the initial ridicule. In my heart I know this is right. 

Subliminal Saturday

Now I know I was only away for 2 months, but since I got back to the UK I seriously feel like I am being brainwashed to buy any shit from any where. I am more conscious to it.

Let me tell you something about Thailand. They do it on a BIGGER scale!

I think that because I spent a lot of time in Bangkok (more than the average tourist probably) witnessing first hand the large scale advertising, it is hard to switch off to the fact that we are all being brainwashed to buy, to consume, to want to dedicate our lives to working in a mediocre job just to buy shit that we really deep down don't need or want just because a poster says we should, or an advert on TV says it'll make us feel better.

I was too cautious to take photos or videos in Bangkok to capture this, mainly on the Skytrain (BTS) because there were signs everywhere saying no photos. Well let me tell you. As soon as you walk up the stairs you're greeted with food stands, magazine stands and clothes shops, when you reach the platform there are MASSIVE bill boards plastered with cars, food, computers. Even the barriers that stop you jumping onto the tracks have digital screens that advertise one thing or another. Then once you're on the train there are posters everywhere and the worst thing are the TV advertisements.

What is it about Asian women being airbrushed to look like Western women?

Why do already petite Asian women need to jump around in skimpy bathing suits (looking Western again) chewing weight loss pills?

WHY ARE ASIANS OBSESSED WITH WEIRD SAUSAGE "MEAT"??

Seriously, everywhere I went there were weird sausages, and you know that the "meat" content will be 0.01% and the rest is something unspeakable.

What disheartened me about Bangkok so much was the need to consume. Huge malls everywhere, shops, stands, everything is about spending money. I got so disheartened by it that I fell out of love with Bangkok, we had a very quick love affair and the only reason I returned was for food - but even then I was part of what made me dislike it!

I never want to fall back into a "normal" life. I don't want to get a 9-5 job just to stay alive. I don't want to own a home and I also don't want to be spending money on a car. From now on it is just me and my bike and whatever public transport I decide to use (mainly a plane out of here again - eventually!), but I want to pledge that no matter how magical things appear I will do my best to avoid being sucked back into the consumerists lifestyle.

If you are struggling to quit consumerism then ask yourself this question

Who is benefiting?

I hope that one day soon everyone wakes up and really sees this matrix we are living in.

Jennifer x