Thailand Blog :: return to "normal"

So I did the watermelon cleanse for 3 whole days, I am so proud of myself because I was so tempted to rip open a potentially unripe jackfruit or walk to the big C when my neighbour started playing guitar and wailing like a strangled cat after 9pm, just after I tucked myself into bed. I was tempted to go knocking but I didn't. He stopped at 10.30pm. However, if he does it again tonight I will tell him because I'm up early to catch the minibus to Cambodia and back to get my second 60 days stamp. 

I went out early to find the visa run buses and was unsuccessful, so I cycled to the wholesale market on the highway. It's just over 7km from my accommodation and it didn't take long to get there. 

I went to every stand asking for "Monthong nim nim", which I think means really ripe. Most of them said no and the ones who had them wanted 100baht or 80baht per kilo. I returned to one of the first stalls where I actually got a 2.5kg Monthong for 80baht! However, it lacked a real flavour. It was OK, but compared to the one I had 4 days ago it was bland. 

I don't know what made me buy more from that seller though! But I did and the second Monthong I got was also lacking flavour. I just hope the Chanee I bought it better. 

Then after I went there I was on a hunt for US dollars. After sitting in numerous banks (one bank I waited 30 minutes!) I couldn't find any that had money so I have to spend  little more on the Cambodian visa because I'm paying in baht. Nevermind. 

I cycled around most of the day, which means my tan on my arms, legs and face will be even better, but my white bits will still be white... I better start staying in the sun for longer when I'm naked sunbathing on my balcony. 

I also kept wondering why my lips hurt. It's because they're burnt! So on with the coconut oil, except I love to lick it off my lips! 

I bought pineapple at a different market and now my tongue is burnt too, so I'm feeling a little battered and worn out from my hectic day. I will be happy to turn off the lights and sleep. 

I am grateful for my bicycle and the ability to use it. I appreciate rest and relaxation. 

Day 3 Watermelon Cleanse

I woke up early this morning, 5.30am! This is the first time in a while that I've woken up before the sunrise, mainly because I've had trouble sleeping so my body is out of sync with nature. I went down to the laundry machine and put my clothes in. I had tried the previous day to do washing but someone was using the machine and I decided it would be easier if I just do it first thing when the rest of civilisation is asleep! 

I opened a watermelon last night and still had over half left, so I ate that this morning. I'm not too happy about the quality of watermelon to be honest with you. The main reason I did this cleanse is because I had some awesome torpedo shaped melons and they were so sweet and delicious, but when i got to the market they only had big round ones. Nevermind. 

I've been having stomach ache again today so it must be the quality. At times I've thought I was eating floor cleaner because it has a slight soapy flavour. I'm definitely looking forward to eating something else, but I still have 7kg worth of watermelon to eat! It's a good job they don't go off quickly. They can sit there for a few days unless I really want to eat them. 

I've been going through You Can Heal Your Life again and working with the exercises in depth. I say affirmations first and last thing in the day and throughout the day I'll forgive myself or others. It's going really well. One of the affirmations is about money and a job. The other day I received an email for my recruitment agency saying they have a job and then today my friend sent an email telling me his company are looking for someone in Bangkok! Amazing that it's working immediately. I am hopeful for the future. 

I also started reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and it is mind blowing already! I've been doing exercises from this book too regarding awareness of the ego. I will conquer the ego one day and I feel it will be sooner than I think! 

All in all today has been positive despite staying in for most of the day. It rained a lot, but it stopped by 5pm so I went to the park to walk and use my new found awareness. I stood watching birds flying and gliding against the lake and then I admired some dragon flies and flowers. Amazing. 

I am so grateful that I have been given two amazing books to read and that they're having such a great impact on my life. I appreciate nature and all that is created by our one mother and father. 

Day 2 Watermelon Cleanse

Well I disregarded everything I said yesterday, I stuffed myself once again despite not being hungry and I even had severe pain because of it. Will I ever learn?

I ate 2.5 watermelons totalling 7kg approximately.

I have experienced my kundalini energy flowing throughout my body since I went to bed last night. It's been wonderful, mainly staying in my stomach area but occasionally going up to my head and filling me with peace, calm and tranquility. Best day ever for that.

Day 1 Watermelon Cleanse

I had a terribly late night because I did not feel tired at all. In fact recently my sleeping patterns have been so erratic and it's possibly because I've been resting a lot during the day. 

I woke up after 8am and I drank 1.5 litres of water mixed with lime. I took myself off to the park for a brisk walk and I used some of the exercise machines. I figured I should be more active because I've been very lazy for nearly a month now. 

When I returned home it was after 10am and I wasn't hungry at all. So I waited another hour and still wasn't hungry. Strange. Perhaps it was the durian and then 100g of soaked cashews that I ate for dinner?! I started to think perhaps I wasn't ever going to get hungry so I just ate half a watermelon. 

It was probably the worst thing to do. I kept telling myself I should really wait for my body to tell me to eat but recently I've been eating for lack of something better to do (even though I could be doing so much!). Then I experienced severe stomach pain. I waited about 30 minutes before I ate the second half. Again I should have listened to my body. 

I waited around 3 hours before I started a second watermelon. I wasn't even hungry this time either but I ate it. 

I finished reading the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and it was so insightful. I have used food throughout my life as comfort and I recognise it, but I still have trouble implementing a way to stop that affecting me now. However, after saying that I did decide that I would surrender my power to God whenever I got the urge to eat (but didn't actually need to eat) and I totally dismissed everything I had discussed with myself in the park!

Tomorrow is a new day and I will try harder. 

Watermelon heaven

I decided after eating around 6kg watermelon this morning and feeling clean that I would do 3 days of just watermelon. Of course today I had mangoes and durian as well but from tomorrow I'll be on just watermelon. 

What I hope to get from this is a cleaner, lighter feeling in my digestive system. I'm hoping it flushes out any food that's been in there for a few days and encourages toxins to leave my body. 

I hope that I will become more aware and conscious about my eating habits. Recently I just shove it in until it hurts (I am talking about food!). I also want to try to move more, so I will exercise before I eat even if it's just a stroll around the park. 

I want to be able to recognise when I'm full, so I hope to be aware of the signals in my body. Lately I've ignored them. 

Finally I want to try to assess my relationship with food and see where I'm having issues. 

So I guess I'll let you know how I get on over the next 3 days! I love watermelon and the seeds are also very tasty :D

Thailand Blog :: transport

In my opinion the worst type of transport is bus/coach. The seats aren't comfortable and are not ideal designed. Perhaps it's my poor posture though. They lack decent arm rests and so I always end up with pain on one side because I'm twisting one way or the other. 

Sometimes I feel a little nauseous and dizzy from all of the swaying, bumps and stop starting on the roads but I think the worst is when the air con gets to me and gives me a headache and dry eyes. 

Some places in Thailand require a bus to get to, so there's no other option, especially with a bicycle to transport too. But I guess it's worth a few hours of discomfort when the destination is filled with durian... 

I much prefer the trains to the buses here and of course the planes take a much shorter time, but the environmental factors are important to note. If I had the money I'd probably hire a car and explore Thailand that way, then I can go wherever I want whenever I want and do whatever I want. This is especially good when spotting durian stands on the road, or national parks, waterfalls, etc. But again the environmental issues are to be taken into consideration. 

Perhaps in the future I'll look into luxury buses with reclining seats and pay that bit extra for comfort. 

I am grateful that I have access to so many transportation options. I appreciate that I can go anywhere. 

Summer migration

I have been thinking about home since the start of my latest fast. It seemed to just pop up and I allowed it to flow. Normally I try to shake it off because I'm so adamant that I don't want to return home, but I've had a shift in my head and I am open to the idea of returning to the UK. 

On Wednesday night I was thinking about my home town Liverpool, how I'd like to return and work in the city, perhaps join a community of vegans or I could work temporarily in accounts to earn the most money. Then I thought about Manchester, a city that I love so much. I've also thought about London and the Isle of Wight. 

There's so much that I have not seen in the UK and I seem to have been given a new love for exploring my own country. Perhaps I'm being called home or my intuition is nudging me to go. 

I no longer have thoughts like "I hate England" or "I'll never go home". I really do think something has shifted within me but I guess only time will tell! I'd love to reconnect with my friends and family, but I'm not saying I will remain in the UK permanently. In fact my thoughts are to be there for a few months and repeat last year, go to the magical island that is La Palma in November and then Bali followed by Australia. English winters can be hard and I think it's important to go where the sun is. 

I also keep fantasising about using hair straighteners on my hair. I really like my crazy curls but sometimes I would like to be vain for a day or two and dress up to impress myself, feel ladylike in my dresses and heels and perhaps turn a few heads along the way. Of course I don't need it to feel like a goddess, but I like the idea of not wearing a t-shirt and shorts for a while! 

I am grateful that I can be free and the universe will provide the opportunities for me. I appreciate that my family support my decisions and are always willing to help me achieve my dreams.