Borneo Blog :: tarap, durian, coconut milk

Today has been epic! 

I wanted to buy a cheap tarap as a last goodbye to this amazing fruit, so Des took me to Dongonggon Tamu on his motorcycle. On the way he took a detour to a different market near Cyber City apartments close to KK airport. 

This market did not have tarap, but it had an incredible coconut milking machine! I say milk, but it was thick like cream. Oh so good. I got a 500g bag but only drank half as I was already still full from breakfast (my new favourite avocado, coconut oil and soaked walnuts). 

I put the rest in the fridge when I got back but after checking it a few hours later it has turned sour! Seriously the fridge in this hostel is absolutely rubbish at keeping milk fresh! 

So after this we went to Dongonggon and I was so disappointed to find that the tarap was more expensive than what I found in KK the previous day... However, I did find a lady selling just 1 for 3 ringgit. It's not the cheapest I've paid but it was still cheap in my opinion. It isn't ripe until tomorrow. 

As the tarap has to wait until tomorrow I decided today would be my final durian in Sabah. I had only planned on getting one, but as I'm addicted I ended up buying 4... I got a tray labeled as Musang king, but if it was it was over ripe. It didn't taste as amazing as I expected based on other people's reviews... And so I bought 3 wild durian. One after the other of course, after each one I said "OK this is the last" but it is by far my favourite durian I've ever tried so I had to eat until I was 100% completely sure I couldn't eat any more. 

I feel good though, I definitely did not over do it like in Ranau. 

Then to top off the day nicely I had a chat with my Mum :) it's been a long time since we talked, mainly because she works and I'm 8 hours ahead of the UK. 

My life has changed forever

Morpheus: The Matrix is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. 

There's no returning once your step out of the Matrix and I've sure learned that firsthand. 2014 was the year my life changed forever and 2015 will be the year that I probably make the biggest decisions of my life so far. 

The information put before me has altered everything I've ever known regarding food and man's existence. It has made me halt, put me at a stand still and I'm contemplating my next move. 

However, the reason for my early arrival in Thailand is due to this information, but it may also contribute to a potential early departure from Thailand if the environmental conditions are not ideal. 

I am not overwhelmed, but I am in a state of indecision. Do I use the information I've been provided with to implement change immediately? Do I take it slow, put it in the back of my mind and carry on as "normal"? Ignorance isn't really an option though, this has to be contemplated everyday. Every move, every decision, every thought. 

If I were given a choice to erase my memory and go back, I'd say no way. I am blessed that I am no longer living in the dark. I am also blessed that I have someone to talk to about it, the one person who has been very misunderstood by me and most people. The one person who I mistreated and bad mouthed. My love and appreciation for this man will never end. 

One day the entire population will know and understand this information and their lives will be changed too. For now, I accept the initial ridicule. In my heart I know this is right. 

Borneo Blog :: learning Malay at a coconut stand

I spent a lot of time at the coconut stand. I have been going mainly to eat the thick fatty coconut meat instead of drinking the water and this is the best place to go for that. 

Although they don't speak much English we can still converse. I was being taught descriptive words because there are a lot of Americans in town. It turns out they're in the military on a ship and have come to drink beer and party.. 

The reason I was learning descriptive words is because every time a western man walks past the lady says to me "wow, look at him, strong!". People here seem to think I'm after a husband. So I played along. From that moment we were pointing out tall men (tinggi), short men (rendah), bald men (botak), etc. It was definitely a fun way to learn Malay. However, that's really the only thing I can say (as well as some pleasantries of course). 

I was asked to help out sell snacks, but it was so quiet... I shouted over to many Americans to come for a coconut but they either declined (for beer) or ignored my call. 

At least I got to spend more time with this family, who are always smiling and willing to chat. I keep being invited to stay at their house but I politely decline everytime. They're Muslim and I don't think my Western dress would be appropriate... 

High fat low carb is hard!

I shot myself in the foot today. Apparently I should be avoiding high GI foods, so the tasty mashed banana and avocado I had for breakfast wasn't ideal. I also ate 1 medjool date. It caused a huge sugar craving and I ended up eating the ripe champedak that has been in my company since the orchard visit over a week ago. 

To compensate I bought a fresh bottle of coconut oil (the one from Bali is on its last drop) and I added it to my salad, I took it like medicine and I added it to the coconut water I had from the coconut stand (first I poured the water into my sports bottle and ate the fatty thick meat mmm). However, my carbs have been seriously high! My ratio for the day is 73% fat, 22% carbs and 5% protein. 

I think it would be much easier if I had a blender so I could whip up some nut cheeses, milks and sauces. But I am doing my best. I managed to control my sugar cravings, however, I don't think it's the best diet for travelling in tropical countries even if I am aiming for ketosis. Firstly, it makes me hot. I'm pretty sure nuts are heating foods. Secondly, there's so much to prepare like soaking the nuts at the right time. That's one thing I make sure I do, soak and rinse nuts. 

I've decided that tomorrow I will finish the avocados and almonds and after that I'll be back on fruit. I want to eat tarap so I hope I can get some before I leave on Saturday. I visited the market today and I don't remember seeing any. Also ripe bananas were scarce too! I have no idea what's going on at the market but it appears since I gave up fruit for a few days they stopped catering for my desires! 

PS I cannot access Instagram at this hostel, which sucks but it's actually nice to take a break from it! 

To break the fast or not to break the fast?

This question has been circulating in my head all day, mainly because I went to a few supermarkets to look for nuts and avocados to see how much they cost and (regarding nuts) how much fat vs carbs they contain.

I read this article about fasting for lent as whilst some people give up one food item, I am giving up food altogether for my fast. I'm not actually fasting for lent though, but it is for spiritual purposes.

I keep debating when I will break my fast. So it's only been 2 days, which is 1 day longer than my previous water fasts! I feel fine, I know I don't need to eat any food, my energy is level but it's the ego that won't silence. The ego causes many of my poor choices and I believe that I am facing the challenge of proving my strength in order to shake it off. (Yes the ego is part of me, but it's not my spirit and I am trying to channel into my spirit) 

I want to defeat the ego, put it in its place once and for all. I prayed to God and the answer is that I know in my heart what I need to do. My heart tells me to keep fasting. I just need to get over the thoughts I have about food and stop being attached to them. 

I honestly believe by what I've read recently and just an internal knowledge that we can live without food. So my actions now are to detach myself from the desires of Man and develop a stronger power within myself. 

I have definitely come from an eating disorder background, which is over eating. I have only calorie restricted for one or two periods in my life (mainly when money was tight and I was so focused on being thin), but this experience now is not coming from a desire to be skinny, it is coming from a want to be more connected to God, to my spirit and to the world around me. 

Recently I have demonstrated my greed and my inability to control myself, eating way too much durian plus eating till I'm beyond full and get pains (but eating through the pain). It's definitely unhealthy. I keep thinking about this one quote from the book I mentioned by Hilton Hotema

Electrons do not eat, atoms do not eat, molecules do not eat, cells do not eat, and the body does not eat.

Then why does man eat?

Page 18 Man's Higher Consciousness 

There is also mention of food actually causing us to die younger than we should. There are people recorded to live past 300 years old! I believe that we could live a long time, but with current living conditions, pollution and the like perhaps we cannot in this day and age unless we go to live in those places unaffected by man's destruction. 

Personally the best part of fasting is no defecation. It's wonderful not having to pass faeces. Sure I pee a lot because I'm drinking water, but passing stools is one of the major downsides to eating in general. 

So on that note I will leave you to ponder what I wrote! 

Fasting and breatharianism

Today I embarked on a water fast after an experiment I started yesterday. I felt a little tired this morning, but that was because I was up all night peeing from my bum from the previous day. I am glad to report that it stopped around 12pm.

I have been drinking water all day with no food cravings. I even walked past the market and had no desire to eat fruit or veg. I have a stash of persimmons that are super ripe and juicy that I would demolish in seconds on a normal day, but the only reason I want to eat them is to avoid waste, but that's easily solved by giving them to my fellow hostel stayers. However, I'm still keeping them just in case... 

I don't think I really talk about everything I do on here or YouTube regarding my spiritual journey, but today I want to mention my intentions. I believe in God (that I have mentioned a few times) but not so much a strict religion. I believe we were created as breatharians and so I want to eventually become a breatharian and what I'm doing today will strengthen my body in preparation for this event. 

I'm currently in a state of ketosis, which was confirmed by a urine test I had earlier today. Many people don't know what this is, or if they've heard of it they have been told some very negative information. People actually eat a low carb high fat diet to achieve the ketosis state and I've been reading about it and watching YouTube videos and I believe this is the way to go in order to really get back to our roots as breatharians. 

I admit that I am following the advice of someone else, but I trust this person entirely with my life and so far they've not failed me. 

My personal issues have been letting go of the attachment to food and my travels to Bali and Sabah have helped me break that. I have made myself ill from eating, even on a raw vegan diet, which greatly backs up my thoughts about breatharianism. Add to that a great book Man's Higher Consciousness by Hilton Hotema and everything makes sense to me that breatharianism is the way forward (or backwards if you look at how we've devolved!) 

I'm not looking for a debate, concern, encouragement or any opinions, I am simply letting you know where I stand right now. It pretty much contradicts my life over the last 2 years being a high carb low fat raw vegan, but this discovery came at the right time. God never gives us more than we can handle and I am ready for this. 

I am not offering encouragement either, I am not telling you to ditch your current lifestyle and follow suit, I believe a raw vegan lifestyle is an important step in preparation for cleaning the body, but there's a lot more than meets the eye. If you're interested in trying what I'm doing there are many steps to be taken beforehand. It has taken me 12 months to reach this stage.

Right now I feel good without food and I have not set a date for breaking the fast. Time will tell. For now I will enjoy this experience. 

Borneo Blog :: Chinese New Year

Happy New Year everyone. This is my first experience of the Chinese New Year and I've been home all day! Say what? 

Well I returned to KK for this day but I ended up being too impatient to wait to do a food experiment, which required me to be home and next to a toilet... 

Luckily my friend Des came earlier to see me, which was nice. He gave me an ang pow. It's a red packet filled with money that traditionally is given to children and unmarried adults to wish them luck and prosperity and also to show gratitude. I thought it was a card at first but was really surprised to see money inside! Thank you Des for your ever increasing generosity. I've been away with the clouds so I never even thought to get a gift :/

I am speechless at the generosity I have encountered lately, from staying in Ranau and being taken to 2 orchards plus getting free fruit to being taken on motorcycle tours. The people of Sabah are really kind and amazing. 

I can definitely learn a lot from the people here. I'm so humbled to know that kindness is given away freely and doesn't have to be earned in anyway. I can tell when people genuinely want to help and make sure you have the best time. 

Thank you to Des and thank you Sherry and family. You've made my stay here welcoming and I feel so blessed to have been in your presence. 

May you have a wonderful year filled with good luck, peace and joy. I hope it's not too long before we meet again. 

Love Jennifer xxx